A Fallen Angel Under A Dark Moon

I know - I promised to keep up with my blogging, and I didn't... But ever since we've started this little adventure, things have been so intense, I've only had time to cater to my basic needs, and a few obligations... You wouldn't *believe* how much I sleep these days...! Or the sleep of utter exhaustion it is... I barely even have time to think...

So, in spite of how it may disappoint some of you, I must report that I'm going to finish out my contract and let the Boys move on recording without me... There are multiple reasons for this, but mainly, I can't live like this... And the music is no longer fun when it becomes something I *have* to do... I won't abide that... But don't dispair...! I'm *not* leaving the Boys or the band, my role is just changing... I won't do lead female vox, I'll do background vocals, and I'll still be writing music with them... I just need a different schedule, before this one makes me ill...

In other news, my Mother got into a car accident... Don't be alarmed...! She's fine, but she broke her scapula and her femur (the femoral neck of that bone, actually) and a crack in her pelvis... She's had two surgeries, some physio-therapy, and is still in a wheelchair, but hopefully will soon progress to a walker... There was some mixed news that came along with this though... Her blood tests, taken when they were repairing all that damage, showed signs of leukaemia... That diaganosis has since been confirmed with a biopsy, but it's not quite as terrible as it might sound... Firstly, they caught it relatively early... Secondly, the type of leukaemia (chronic lymphocytic leukaemia) is a slow growing one... Mother is 68 years old, and so by the time this illness might require agressive treatment, she may have reached the end of her natural lifespan... I know that doesn't *sound* like a "good" thing, but she may avoid having to take chemo meds, and will not really suffer from the disease, except for being a little less active than she is now...

So I've had a good deal to stress over lately, but it hasn't been quite as bad as I might have had to suffer through... And in any case, I hope it partially explains why I've been so silent... I didn't mean to be (I never mean to be), there were just a lot of things going on...

I *have* enjoyed the recording experience, though... I'm glad I got to be a part of it, and it has been an exciting ride... But although I've devoted my life to music, I've learned I can't devote my life to working at music... And that was something I needed to learn, otherwise I always would have wondered... And I'll *still* have my name in the lead credits on one recording, so that's also a good thing... *smiles* But I think I'd far prefer short trips and quick afternoon recording sessions, to turning my life upside down and taking the enjoyment away from that which I love... And there are other things I want in life now besides a career, and this set up would never give me time to have it...

So here I am... A little more tired, a little wiser, and more clear than ever about what I want out of life... And who can say no to that...?