So here I sit, my meditation shot to hell and all the kata for my iaido clumsy and worthless... This has happened a few times in the past month, and I can't figure out what exactly is breaking my concentration so badly... One moment I am calm, serene, focused - mizo no kokoro, tsuki no kokoro... The next, my calm is shattered and my mind wanders to thoughts completely irrelevant to the task at hand... There's nothing happening in my life right now that I can see causing this loss of balance, of center - and yet there it is... And being unable to complete my morning routine is throwing me even more off balance...

So I've decided to try a radical approach - a two day fast, followed by some intense meditation... If that doesn't restore my balance, I may just have to step back from my training a bit and commune with myself awhile... Perhaps it is just my current restlessness that is doing this... If so, it should pass on it's own, with a little help from my Beloved... I'm not really worried, just annoyed - my morning kata is my mental/spiritual start to the day and a day without it just is never quite *right*...
4 Responses
  1. Heather Says:

    I hope you get back to being centered girlie! I'm thinking of you, and miss you oxo.

  2. Ken Says:

    domo arrigato, mr. roboto...

  3. Charles Says:

    I have no idea what mizo no kokoro, tsuki no kokoro... is, but I hope you get better soon. Is there anything bothering you. For example,usually when I have problems sleeping it's because of something that I did wrong and I don't want to admit it to myself.

    Get better.

  4. Angelia Rian Says:

    Heather - After my fast, I felt *much* better...! Though by fasting, I kind of annoyed my Beloved - he doesn't like it if I don't eat... He thinks about me so much... It's sweet... :)

    Ken - *laughing* I should slap you with a couple of Styx... ;)

    Charles - Mizo no kokoro is "mind like water", tsuki no kokoro is "mind like the moon"... They are martial arts axioms... "Mind like water" refers to the need of making the mind calm, like that of an undisturbed body of water... Smooth water reflects all things, the better to see them clearly and react accordingly - the calm mind... But rippled water distorts an image, and your reaction will be equally distorted... "Mind like the moon" refers to the fact that moonlight shines equally on all things, so one should be equally aware of all aspects of one's opponant... There's more to it, but that's the simple explaination...

    And I did finally deal with what was distracting me, which wasn't a bad thing, but nevertheless distracting... ;) Thank you for your well wishes - it actually did help to know there were people out there thinking of me... :)