A Fallen Angel Under A Dark Moon

I've been terrible... I really have been... I have not been keeping up with my journal writing... Why is that...? The words just aren't coming, the ideas are slow to spawn... And that's strange, because I really have never been happier... When I was miserable, the words flowed like wine - probably because words were all I had... Now that I am happy again, I sort of drift in this "all-is-right-with-the-world" state and all I can think of to say is, "I'm happy again...! Isn't it amazing...!?" But that can pall after the first five or six times one hears it... Even my bandmates have stopped teasing me and have switched to, "Yeah, yeah - we *know*... You're happy... We're happy for you..."

What is it about misery that brings out the eloquence in us...? Is it just the desire to get it out...? Or is it that we put our words forth hoping that someone, anyone, will read and understand...? I found the latter, though I did not expect it... I started writing due to the former... But I am so *very* grateful, for the people it allowed me to meet and brought into my life... And I don't say that *nearly* enough... Some of you I share only brief thoughts with... Others, I've opened my life more fully to... But you all in your own ways supported me through all my crisises, and it has meant more to me than I've ever said so publically... So I'm taking this moment to let you know - you're wonderful people, and your care and compassion has not gone unnoticed... And even when I seem a little more distant than usual, you still mean the world to me... And everything you choose to say and offer me are still the opinions and ideas I value most...

I've been promising a more thought-provoking entry, and now's as good a time as any to commence it - so pay attention...

We're never as attentive as we should be in this life... Sometimes we get wrapped up in the little things that swirl around us from day to day, whether they be bad or good... But we need to make the time to stop, take a look at the bigger picture and take note of the things we've become distracted from... We need to look also at the people in our lives and let them know they are appreciated, even when we get caught up in our own little sphere... We never do this as much or as often as we should... And sometimes that leaves the people we care about feeling forgotten, or neglected...

I'm as guilty of this as anyone... But I don't mean to be... And as of right now, I'm going to make a resolution - not to myself, but to those whose thoughts, opinions, and company I value... I'm going to try to be better at this... Because there's no sense my being happy if I cause others to feel badly... That's not the way it should work... Now as it relates to my offline life, it's going to be something I'm going to have to keep at, so whatever I'm doing doesn't distract me from what's really important (the people I care for)... But here, online, it will be easier... I am going to read and comment in your journals regularly, the way I used to... Even if I *don't* have anything to post in my own... I'm going to put in the time, because you're worth that time... You put in the time for me, and it's about time I was more diligent in returning the favour...

Have any of you been distracted from that which matters...? Here's your chance - I've reminded you, now make your own resolution... Focus just a little more on the people and things that matter... Even if it's just once a week... Attention, more than any words, shows appreciation best... And everyone needs to feel appreciated... But remember, that appreciation is reciprocal... A gift that must be continually exchanged to have the greatest effect... And when you do so, you're not just looking after your friends and family, you're looking after yourself... Because we are nothing without the connections we share...